Is Double Texting Bad? When It's Fine and When to Stop

Short answer: double texting is sending a second message before the other person answers your first one. It is not bad. It is normal in healthy relationships. It becomes a problem when you keep sending messages after hours or days of silence, because then you are chasing someone who is not showing up.

What does double texting mean?

You send "hey, how was the interview?" and get no answer. Two hours later you send "also I found that song you were talking about 😂". That is a double text. If you send a third one with no reply, people call it triple texting.

Ten years ago, dating "rules" said you should never double text. That rule is old. What matters now is context.

When double texting is completely fine

• You forgot to say something. "Oh and bring a jacket, it's cold."
• You already have a good flow. You talk every day and they reply in a normal time.
• You are sharing something, not asking for attention. A meme, a photo, a funny thing that happened.
• It is a plan with a time. "Still on for 8?" on the day of a date.
• They are a double texter too. If they send three messages in a row, you can as well.

When it is time to stop

• They have not replied for a day or more, and they were online.
• Your messages are getting longer and theirs shorter.
• You are double texting to get a reaction, like "hello??" or "ok I guess you're busy".
• It happens every time. If you always have to send the second message, look at who texts first in your chat. The balance may be off.

A good test: would you be okay if they never answered this message? If yes, send it. If the answer would hurt you a lot, wait.

What to send instead of "hello??"

If you want to reach out after silence, keep it light and easy to answer:

• "Saw this and thought of you 😂" (with a link or photo)
• "How did the thing with your sister go?"
• "Free this weekend? There's a market on Saturday."

Then let it go. If they don't answer that, the silence is the answer.

Is double texting a sign of anxious attachment?

Sometimes. People with an anxious attachment style often feel strong stress when a message is not answered, and they send more to calm that feeling. If that sounds like you, our attachment style test can help you understand it. Read more about attachment styles in texting.

## How to see the real balance in your chat

It is easy to feel like you "always" double text, and hard to know if it is true. The Cringe counts your messages and theirs, shows who starts conversations, and compares your average reply time with theirs. It takes a few seconds and the basic stats are free.

## FAQ

Is double texting desperate?

No. One extra message is normal. It only looks desperate when you send many messages after a long silence, or when the messages ask for attention ("why are you ignoring me?").

How long should I wait before double texting?

If you are sending something new, there is no rule. If you are following up on an unanswered message, wait at least a day. After that, one light message is fine. More than that usually isn't.

Is triple texting okay?

Three messages in a row is fine in an active conversation. Three messages to someone who has not replied in days is usually too much.